• cruel comments or teasing
• knowingly embarrassing someone else
• spreading rumors
• not including girls in social activities
• not speaking to someone
You may expect this mean-girl behavior to start in middle or high school. However, parents are seeing emotional bullying as early as elementary school, partly because of social media and texting.
“Once upon a time, if my bully was at school, I could get away by going home,” says Jeffrey Rothweiler, PhD, child psychologist with St. Louis Children’s Hospital. “Those safe places are disappearing. The bully can follow you home and bully you on social media. That’s made emotional bullying even more powerful and dangerous.”
What parents can do
“Parents and other adults need to take action against the behavior, not ignore it or justify what’s going on,” Dr. Rothweiler says. “The ‘so what’ mind-set, or the idea that girls just need to grow a thicker skin, can be very dangerous.”
Dr. Rothweiler recommends parents have total access to all of a child’s social media accounts to monitor what girls are saying about each other. This can help stop emotional bullying before it gets out of hand.
If your daughter has become the victim of a bully, come up with suggestions about how she can respond to the behaviors. Bring in school counselors, administrators and mental health professionals if needed.
If you notice your daughter is bullying other girls, let her know that behavior is unacceptable.
“One thing we don’t want is for those who see something to do nothing,” Dr. Rothweiler says. “If a child sees bullying, then she should help the victim and ask adults to help.”
Need help dealing with an emotional bully? Call the St. Louis Children’s Hospital Family Resource Center at 314-454-KIDS and press “5” to have information and resources on bullying sent to you.
For over 130 years, Children's Hospital and its Washington University School of Medicine physician partners have remained a resource for pediatric health and wellness for the St. Louis region and beyond.
They provide care in every pediatric specialty — from fetal care through adolescence. In 2016, U.S. News & World Report ranked St. Louis Children's Hospital in all 10 specialties, the only children's hospital in Missouri to earn this distinction. Their Level One Pediatric Trauma Center is nationally verified by the American College of Surgeons (ACS), the highest national recognition possible.
Call 314-454-KIDS (5437) to find a pediatrician or pediatric specialist, or to register for a class or event. Learn more at StLouisChildrens.org, member BJC Healthcare.
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